Guess what? ??

I haven't been posting on this blog for awhile. I do apologize for that. I do have a good reason though. I found out in February that I am pregnant again.this will be my second child.I already have a boy who's four,turning five in April. My feelings for this pregnancy is kind of mixed.
I am happy,excited,worried all at once. I don't know if I've told you this but I developed epilepsy at the age of twenty one.I take medicine for it daily,the dosage worries me because of how high it is,(its five hundred mg twice a day! ) I don't know if this medicine will affect the baby and I cannot afford to have a seizure while pregnant,that would endanger the baby for sure!  And I'm worried of the baby having any other defects of any kind. My son had cataract surgery at six months old and had glaucoma shunt surgery almost right after he turned four. He has to wear thick glasses and still have to have eye pressure drops twice a day.(which he hates but willingly takes anyway.makes me proud at how he cooperates with me on it)  my husband has glaucoma as well.

I'm worried that the baby might have that or might have epilepsy like me. Those that have epilepsy know that extreme stress can cause a seizure to trigger and I would definitely say that giving birth falls under the extreme stress category.  My biggest worries other then mentioned above is that I might have a seizure during delivery or have one during recovery.  Having seizures scare me because you are so unaware of your surroundings and you forget things.having a seizure can be described as your brain being a computer that gets so overloaded that it just shortages out and once recovered,everything you currently had on it is now lost. Epilepsy is an invisible disease. If I were to meet you out somewhere,you would have no idea that I have it just by looking at me. Its terrifying to have this. ..
Ok,I'm done rambling about my worries now. Blessed be 🌒🌕🌘 🌙🌞🌝🌚🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Runes

Do any of you use runes? Or have difficulty trying to learn them? For me they were a little overwhelming to study at first because there are so many and so many different meanings to interpret. But one of the easiest ways I have found to use as a study method is to keep a journal and use it every day. Draw one rune each day and write down three things: 1. Draw a picture of the rune somewhere on the page. 2. Write down the meaning of the runes. 3. Write down what your interpretations are, no matter what don't try to edit yourself. The easiest way to have the traditional meaning of the runes is to buy them with a book about them. I bought an anniversary set that has the complete set of viking runes and a bag to put them in and a book that explains all about them. I bought mine at books-a-million.
(http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Book-Runes-Sack/Ralph-H-Blum/9780312536763?id=6503044415775)
Above is the link to the set that I bought. But if you look further, there are tons of different books and styles.
I love my runes. :) anything else, comment below!

this and that.

I know I haven't posted in awhile but I've been in sort of a spiritual freeze right now. It happens though. It's your subconscious telling you to slow down. Everybody goes through it but nobody ever talks about it. But we do need to get things like that out in the open so that we can get it out of our system but at the same it helps other people out. Its better to help others than to hender their progress.

cold

These past three days, my son has been sick with the cold then I now have it and I think my husband's coming down with it. My son is getting over it while for me its just starting good. I'm sniffling and blowing my nose as I type so if you see any typos, please excuse me.
But I keep hearing that it doesn't matter what a crystal's powers are for. Like say the pink is universally for love and friendship but to me that color is blue. And for me the color for love is red. And purple seems to be my healing color. Not everyone is going to agree or have the same colors that do the same things and that's ok. Anyways, last night I was feeling pretty bad so I grabbed my purple stone and held it between my hands and put into it my intent to clear up my nose a little, just enough to sleep. And I then laid down and balanced it between my eyes, right on the bridge of my nose. I left it there for a good few minutes and I felt a pulsing energy come from the stone. Once I realized I was dozing off,i then held it between my hands again and this time visualized a white energy hammering away the sick energy that was just put into it. I set it near me and then went to sleep. I actually got some sleep because of it.I might try it again tonight.
I have felt a strong connection with stones and the earth element. But everyone is different. :)
Happy New Years!🎈

Sorry....

Sorry for not having anything interesting to post at this time. I continue to work with my tarot, oracle decks and my runes but not everyday as I started out doing. But its a good thing though, because when you study something for awhile and then suddenly don't "feel" like looking at it or studying it any longer then its because your subconscious mind is trying to tell you to slow down and give it time to mull over the things you've studied so that when you go back and look at it, you'll see something different about the subject your studying or you'll find new aspects that weren't there before. Its not because you've suddenly gotten a brain freeze or that you have suddenly lost interest. Its your subconscious saying "alright that's enough for now. Its my turn to study it."
Tarot is one of those times for me right now. I find that I'm having a hard time trying to connect and understand the deck that I have. I'm not sure if its just not the right time for a fairy tarot deck right now or that I need to connect with fairies first. I am looking into other decks though to see if anything sort of jumps out at me. One deck did though, its called the witches' tarot deck but at the time I hadn't enough money to get that deck even though it was almost literally calling to me. But my oracle decks have been no trouble at all. My first oracle deck I ever bought is called "Earth Magic" and to this day I completely feel comfortable with this deck. I have since the moment I touched the cards. Same thing happened with my second deck that I bought. It's called "goddess guidance" deck. I felt an open embrace from the goddess upon touching this deck. I also had an experience with meeting the goddess butterfly maiden. She is also happens to be a card in my deck so maybe it was meant to be. :)
Same thing happened to my runes. Studying them was easy for me. And now my son shows interest in the runes. He wants to see and touch them every time I do a rune reading for myself.  so that's a plus.
What currently works for you? What was easy for you to study and what was difficult? Comment below, i'm interested to hear about it.

God and Goddess

When one first discovers a pagan spirituality or witchcraft in general, it's hard to completely understand that there is a feminine energy along with the masculine. If your coming from a structured religion, it might be scary and confusing coming into such a free-spirited spirituality. At first, you might cling to the Goddess aspect before changing your views to both energies. Yes, I can say this and understand it because I was in that position myself, having brought up as Christian. For me, paganism was a sort of freedom, yet confusing at the same time.  so I can relate to those still trying to figure things out. The only advice I can give you is for you to study. Get every book you can on paganism,wicca, and everything that interests you. Research online, read books, search for other pagans and wiccan and ask questions, look up pagan YouTube channels. (I watch The Shoe Whisperer and Mandi See. Great channels)
But remember to keep an open mind while researching because you never really know what you will find.And, as a personal disclaimer for myself, don't get upset if my advice doesn't work for you because everybody is different and I have only been a eclectic pagan for a few years now and I'm not in a coven or certified to give solid advice. So please, if you listen to me then take what I give you and research further into it. Don't take what I say at face value.

feelings

Yesterday in the crazy midst of making Christmas come early for my son. (we'll be staying with family Christmas day) I had this overwhelming, crazy strong urge to stop by the graveyard where my aunt, grandfather, great-grandfather were buried. I've been wanting to stop by for awhile and I feel guilty when I don't get to stop by. So, I was coming from dropping my son off at my mom's and so I stopped by. While there, I felt their presence welcoming me. I fixed the flowers that were on the graves and just stood there for a moment. It felt like they were hugging me. I whispered merry Christmas and that I missed them. And left to go finish what I was doing.
Since then I've felt that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And my mood has improved. I need to stop by more but I don't own a car so I borrow my mom's sometimes. I want to put flowers on there soon.